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October 11 Advice for the Broken-hearted Maybe you should just stop communicating with her a bit. Everytime you want to phone or text her, do 20 push-ups. - To Mike, over messenger, October 2009  October 05 Fatal Flaw - I'm broke. - What! I was planning to marry you! With Ben Wa, Shanghai, September 2009 October 04 The things that make me smile I'm thinking about a video of you I'm directing in my imagination. - Ari, over email, May 2009  September 06 Either way, it's complimentary I have to wear make-up to work because otherwise I look too young for my job. - Amy, September 2009, Shanghai  August 16 Normalcy - I now go and work in an office. - REALLY? What's wrong with you? With Mathieu, over messenger, August 2009  July 31 Four small itches Put a cross on it! Four smaller parts will itch less than one big part. - Mark S, Shanghai, July 2009  (photo: Natsuko) July 13 Abnormal request- I've been drinking since 6-something, I think I might be drunk.
- Take off your top.
- What?!
- See, you're not that drunk.
With Ben Wa, Shanghai, July 2009
  June 28 RidiculousnessOh I have a bag of llamas! What am I arguing with anyone for.
- Ben W, Shanghai, May 2009  May 19 AptHey, i just had an epiphany while taking out my contact lenses.
May 15 Blast from the past- If I find you vaguely hot and you, me, we have to just get it on for the sake of old times. I need to see how the universe will shift.
April 19 Modern LifeI was at this stag do: there were 20 of us, and six had slept with the bride.
- Ben W, Shanghai, April 2009
 April 14 CollateralWe have no money, I'll leave my girlfriend here while I go and get some.
- Ari, New York City, July 2008
 April 13 WellA woman came up to me and said, 'you want special service?'. I said no, was that the right answer?
- Glenn, Shanghai, April 2009  Makes perfect sense- I don't want his number, what do I need it for?
- You need his number so that when he calls you, you'll know it's him and you can ignore the call.
With Natsuko, Shanghai, April 2009 April 09 Even in Edinburgh- Everytime you wear the golf shirts, remember us.
- And everytime we eat dumplings, we'll think of you.
John and Glenn, Shanghai, April 2009
 March 27 We all scream for Ice CreamPeople who are out of love tend to accidentally fall in love with people who feed them ice cream.
- Sis 3, over IM, March 2009
 March 26 Two Cities- I think I will just stick to these illegal bike taxis.
- It's not very good when you're in high heels and skirts though.
- Yes, but I'm not often in high heels and skirts in Shanghai. In Beijing, that's different.
with Jeremy, Shanghai, March 2009 February 21 CheersI think taking the piss out of friends is just snacks for drinks, you know.
- Natsuko, over messenger, February 2009
 February 03 Even late at night...You should never let anyone make you feel nervous in your own apartment.
- Neil, Shanghai, August 2004
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